2012: A year of culmination. I had a lot of ambition early in my 20s to achieve things by 2012. And I think for the most part, I nailed it. In the long history, I’ll remember 2012 as a super fantastic year. I’ll forget about all those super tough moments. The ones where I didn’t see where I was going next and depression and confusion. The same thing happens every year, but I imagine it will be more whitewashed for 2012. I got to live in London, see the Olympics, work my dream job, drink beer, explore new places and do everything I wanted to do. A year of Colleen. While it’s good to have satisfied all those desires, I feel a bit glutinous. A bit decadent.
I want something different for 2013.
My main goal is to have a different kind of balance and control of things in my life. I have struggled to overcome my social anxiety disorder in recent years. Well, to be fair I haven’t put that much effort into doing anything about it. And only recently has it occurred to me how it’s negatively inflicted on some of the most important relationships in my life. Not to mention my work life. I want it to change. And in the coming weeks I will begin that process. It’s necessary as I start this new chapter of my life which has the least amount of planning going into it than has ever occurred in my life. This is not a time where I can break down. It’s time to embrace the chaos.
On that note, I’ve decided to set out only a few resolutions this year:
1. Read 5 Classic Russian novels.You know. Just to torture myself a bit. Over all I want to read 20 books. Those Russian books are thick, so cut me some slack!
2. Go for a run 50 times. I know if I say “run once a week” I won’t do it. But if I’ve got a numerical goal in mind, I’m much more likely to accomplish it.
3. Play tennis 50 times. Same thing. And sometimes I go on a tennis tear and want to play every day for a week. Then I go months without touching my racket, so I need to accommodate my whims to some extent.
That’s it. I’d like to postulate where I will be on the 5th of January 2014, but I haven’t the foggiest. Likely back stateside. Hopefully employed in arboriculture making ok money. Living close to family or friends. Cycling a lot and not getting fat. Maybe a boyfriend? (doubt that at my old age though).
Anyone out there have any good new year’s resolutions? Share them. Best of luck to all of you in 2013!