Monthly Archives: February 2015

Playing large

(27 of 100)*
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
– Nelson Mandela

As 2014 drew to a close, my mind overworking about the past the present and the future (more than normal), I knew something was afoot. My brain was helping bring me down both mentally and physically. There’s no such thing as repression in the mind. The thought/issue/problem will wield its head in ways you could never imagine. And you may not even recognizing the thing as a problem or outwardly affecting you, but it’s there any ways. The brain is ever so helpful. So with a restive holiday period and three weeks away from Normality, my mind was let off its leash and allowed to freely wander. And wander it did do. Through all the good and the bad thoughts. It all inevitably ended me in a teary mess of confusion and vulnerability like none before. Luckily I had an excellent travel partner who let me let it out in my own time and terms and listen openly and give me feedback. Cheers, Puff.
I want to stop here and say that I would love to one day stop being so vague. Vagueness has been a common theme on this blog for as long as it has existed. I want to tell you about what’s going through my head, but I can’t yet bring myself to do it on such a public platform. There are quite a few of you, both family and friends, who I have put my guard down to tell about it, but to write it out is very difficult to do. I can barely manage to acknowledge it in my own private journal. It is far in my past but it has an enduring effect on seemly everything in my life. Now thinking about it, I believe this blog/writing online for nearly 20 years started from it as well. I’m just beginning to realize all that it affects. I want to change it all this second, but I will have to rebuild most of my brain. Creating new ways of processing and communicating thoughts will take sometime. The best news is that process has begun. l will one day be prepared for full disclosure. Watch this space…..

Ah hem. So, where was I? Oh, back on holz, enjoying the sun. So three weeks in Zambia and Malawi in the rainy season, which was filled with a lot of sun, were incredible. I would write out all the details of the trip, but I believe writing that would be very unsatisfying for me and you probs would just flip to the photos any ways. So let’s save both of us some time. Also, like most travel adventures, the best bits were the anecdotal small moments of the trip. Writing them out and explaining would likely take more time than they did to occur. I’ll will tell you in bulleted format what I got out of the trip or learned whilst there:

  • The most popular beers in Zambia contain corn, which kind of ruins them.
  • “Express train” means something very different in Zambia compared to Europe
  • I have developed an addiction for handmade jewelry
  • Life should be lived in color and warmth
  • Deforestation for subsistence farming is real in both countries
  • Slash and burn hurts my soul
  • Victoria Falls are unbelievable to see, hear and feel.
  • Walking across the top of Victoria Falls and peering over the edge is one of the coolest things I’ve ever done while traveling
  • I’m a terrible artist
  • There are a lot of beautiful, colorful fish in Lake Malawi
  • Letting your guard down hurts but also feels so good
  • I will never again go on a long road trip with an English person
  • We don’t spend enough time playing card games

I think that’s it really. Let’s get to the good stuff: the photos.

Planning the trip from Backpackers

Planning the trip from Backpackers

Big red train

Big red train

Falls

Falls

My take on the very popular stance of local Zambian boys

My take on the very popular stance of local Zambian boys

Falls

Falls

One of many dumb poses for photos done on the trip.

One of many dumb poses for photos done on the trip.

How big are you C-A? SOOO BIG!

How big are you C-A? SOOO BIG!

Our guides at Devil's Pool at Lake Victoria

Our guides at Devil’s Pool at Victoria Falls. Not my cool shoes I was forced to wear.

Rumbling along through the Nkotakhota Wildlife Reserve at dusk

Rumbling along through the Nkotakhota Wildlife Reserve at dusk

Traditional Malawian game which was kind of like triple jump with Carrie-Ann looking on from the lake

Traditional Malawian game which was kind of like triple jump with Carrie-Ann looking on from the lake

Lake Malawi fishing boats

Lake Malawi fishing boats

Vegetables and nshima, typical Zambian meal

Vegetables and nshima, typical Zambian meal

So it was pretty fun as you can see. I’ve got some alright videos too if you ever want to see them. Come over and check them out.

During the trip I thought a lot about what my next step is. I do believe my next step now is not to take the next step. I will stay put for a while here in London town. It’s part of that realization process I spoke about earlier. Changing those neuron pathways. Some really exciting opportunities are sitting in front of me professionally waiting to be taken. It would be foolish to let them pass me by. Before the trip I was looking at them negatively, but now I am very optimistic. That all may go out the window come mid-summer, but I don’t think it will. Time to get stuck in and live the life I am capable of living.

Overall, life is very on the up and up here. I hope it is with you as well. Let me know what’s happening out there. I haven’t had any comments in a while.

*I’m trying to write 100 times in 2015 as part of my new years resolutions. This is number 27. I did good on holiday.

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